Deathbed Confessions Gifts

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ... almost.'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

'Stick on Souls'

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

'I'm confused. Is this a romance novel or a confession about how much you like boxes and warm places to nap?'

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

"I'll never forget my father, near death, saying 'get me a pen... I'm going to change my will.' But it was Sunday, and all the stationery stores were closed."

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

'Idiot.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

Chef's Confession

"I need something to help me get to sleep..."

"If this dorm is co-ed, why are there 27 guys and just me!?"

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already what you just confessed on your blog.'

'...and we had sex'

"...I'm trisexual - I'll try anything sexual."

'I can't make it. I'm dead.'