Dealing With Economic Uncertainty Gifts

"Things are looking up..."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My company utilizes a yet-to-be-developed technology to deliver content that's still in the conceptual stage to a segment of the economy we really hope is out there!'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'The market shifted on me.'

Counting dollars

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'In the economy, money is the lure.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues