Dealing With Aging Relatives Pillows

'We just couldn't live with ourselves if we put mother in a home...'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Did you remember my mints?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Speed Dating.

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

Dino Snack

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"You got this, Nana."

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

Remembering His Marbles

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

It's a wireless.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'