Day Off Enjoyer Gifts

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

Police Feline Unit

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Lazy Octopus

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Shellfie

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'Ah, business as usual.'

How the goat got square eyes.

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"