Dating With Kids Navigator Pillows

'Remember when I said I had a little one?'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I need a man who will commit."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

...In a Relationship

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

"Yeah? Well, I sentence you to death!"