First Date Navigator Pillows

'More champagne please.' 'I see what you meant by bubbly personality.'

'Oh, my god! It just occurred to me that you might look really weird with wet hair.'

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Romance

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"She's just being Koi."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Asking out a palm reader.

Romance

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Your place or mine?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'