First Dates Pillows

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'It is so nice going out with a man who isn't weird.'

Culture!

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Pessimists Club: 'About my computer date inquiry...I assume all the good men are already taken...'

Dog has cellphone. Woman says to man: 'I think he likes you. Look, he wants to swap mobile numbers.'

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Steve told me there are a couple things I should mention about your blind date before they get here. He prefers 'Little Person' to 'Midget', and 'Busser' to 'Busboy.'"

"She realised the date was going badly when he suggested they split the bill."

"Well, you look just like your profile pick."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"First date hairball... awkward."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Romance

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Asking out a palm reader.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.