Going On A First Date Pillows

'I feel very secure, but I should try to act a little more insecure.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Ready to roll?'

'Trust me honey, Aunt Iris says he's a Prince!'

"...his friend is over 6ft tall with broad shoulders, sounds too good to be true!"

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"I'm the double of Kate Moss, she's 8 stone, I'm 16."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

Mr. Tickle makes his move...

'Do you think I'm over-dressed? Its a first date.'

She's a little too friendly.

"My blind date was perfect. He was witty, kind, interesting. . . He had a big butt."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

'Remember, talk up your athlete's foot -- it's the most macho thing about you.'

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

Dating is so expensive...

'Could we talk about something you don't care about?'

"Anyway enough talking about ME...let's talk about my job instead!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Living on the Wild Side (for timid guys)

No, it's not the beer talking. Beer actually makes a better impression than I do. ! !

Would you care to go to the after-party with me? After what? I'll think of something.

"You looked taller in your profile photo."

"How was the date?"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"I'm not going to say any more, Francis. It's your face, and it was your mustache."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Romance

Speed Dating for Turtles

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.