Dating Pioneer Pillows

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Mate Mart

Russian Dating.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'