Dating Innovator Pillows

Sarah enjoyed her dates a lot more ever since she invested in a ChaperDrone.

"Ice-picks and chill?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Evolution.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"My husband's a big eater. Do you have any edible bathrobes?"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

'Let's get some play-doh and make happy masks.'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."