Dating Philosophers Pillows

Life is for the birds.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"Moulting"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Scurile travels

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'