Dating Joke Aficionado Pillows

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

What's normal?

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

Drive in movies.

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"I figured you'd end up looking like that."

What could have been quite possibly the most hilarious dog joke ever is interrupted by. . . 'So I said, that's no bone, that's my. . . squirrel!'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'This would be so romantic if we weren't married to each other.'

Clown in supermarket looking at a tin of Canned Laughter.

"The only way I could be sure the sitter would watch the baby, was to put it in front of the refrigerator!"

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.