Dating Inquirer Pillows

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

Romantic Coffee Dates

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."