Dating Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

Professor Bronksi was passionate about his own research. . . the age at which a girlfriend, becomes a lady friend.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I just love a nice knight out."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Politeness opens doors

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."