Dating Explorer T-Shirts

'Actually, that means English as a second language...the elephant singles bar is across the street!'

"My mistake, really. I thought your ad said you were into cross-training."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

Dating Agency "I'm just looking for anybody who won't be physically sick every time we have sex"

"Don't think I'm easy Otis. Just because I'm inviting you in for sex, don't think you're getting coffee as well."

Love Dating Services.

'I am not promiscuous... I'm like this with everyone.'

"How many sex partners have you had?"

'Fenella oversteps the mark with her first date with Ken'

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

"I'd like a dreamboat, not a silly old punt."

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"It's SO nice to meet a man who doesn't have a one-track mind..."

'I'm under the delusion that gay men find me irresistible.'

John felt New Age Women were a mixed bag.

'I know we met only an hour ago, but I feel like we've known each other for years. That's how long it usually takes for a man to be able to infuriate me.'

Getting to know you: 'So! Are you pro or anti-circumcision?'

Distraught. Let's hear it. I met this girl last night and she gave me her number. Awesome. So? I texted her. And? I haven't heard back. Hold on. Remain calm. How long has it been? Panic!!! Oh, never mind. I texted to the wrong number. Generation I -- for impatient!! Exhale.

Date Time. Maybe an online dating site is not the best place to search for an honest person, Diogenes.

By the way, if I say anything out of line, don't hesitate to scold me. I don't mind. In fact, I have a bit of a scolding fetish.

Hands-free technology isn't just for cell phones. I also like to apply it to first dates. Bar.

I'll tell you another way I'm living proof of natural selection

"So after all of that, you're just looking for something casual?!"

"What's your sign, again?"

"Don't worry, I've been tested."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"Isn't it incredible that both of is, at this exact same moment are unemployed/"

"Do you mind if I say something helpful about your personality?"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Online Dating

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).