Dating Dynamics Aficionado Pillows

'She's his 'arm candy' and he's her 'sugar daddy'!'

'Got any women repellent?'

"Call me?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Drive in movies.

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

Banana Smoothie

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."