Dating Diary Keeper Gifts

"He's playing very hard to get - he's got a restraining order."

"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."

I'm sorry, but I don

'I should probably warn you that you've wandered into a place where you're very likely to get hit on by some jerk. I don't mean this bar, I mean this comic strip.'

'While my friends all smuggle up with their husbands and children, I receive thanks for another doomed relationship.'

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Professional woman in pub

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

'Lost Diary'

Dating the efficiency expert.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

Thin and thick

'Are you seeing anybody?'

Gigolo Diary

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

Marilyn Monroe's secret diary

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

The baby born with a middle-aged brain. Darn it, I left the womb to get something … Now, what was it?

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

"We'll you're never gonna get it."