Dating Couple Gifts

Internal Clocks.

'They're a bit of a strange couple. They didn't meet on the internet.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I'm giving this like ten more minutes."

Why did you pick this restaurant? I like the subliminal message it sends my dates. Yes. Yes.

Yield. Stop. We went out a couple of times, but I got tired of the mixed signals.

If you won't go out with me, I'll kill myself. Promises, promises.

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

Impulse dating. A really bad idea.

"The fact that you rely on a teleprompter is a good indication that you need to work on your communication skills."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Life is for the birds.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

Romance

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.