Dating Agency Worker Gifts

'That 'perfect match' you set me up with last week, turned out to be my ex- wife!'

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

'I'm not supposed to say this, but I think you'd be better off with a cat.'

'Short, fat, balding, palid complexion...in one.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'

'Do you scan them for viruses?'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

Early Sexting

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'I won't rule out using sex as a weapon, but I do have a 'no first use' policy.'

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

'How do you like your egg?'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

Three cheers for advertising.

Carbon Dating Agency

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

"My most recent position was under a house."

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'While my reserve unit was guarding the Iraqi border, an illegal alien took my job.'

Psychic Dating Hotline