Data Safeguard Enthusiast Gifts

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Aggression/Security

CCTV in church.

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"That guys is stealing my data!"

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"And this is another economic indicator."