Data Protection Guru Pillows

Scandal about listening on Facebook

British savings accounts

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"That guys is stealing my data!"

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'Look over my shoulder and die!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

Never forget the magic asterisk...

Information Security

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"It's a graph of economic recovery...which way up do you want it?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

'Stay clear, I'm wiping my computer data before I get rid of it!'

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"Yes, we’ve been wrong, but we’ve been consistently wrong!"

GDPR compliant