Data Security Enthusiast Pillows

"We need to start listening to our customers."

"Maybe now's not the time to tell him his data has also been leaked."

"Well, if it isn't Roy Pendleton, age 51, five foot nine, 176 pounds, two kids, recently divorced... Yes, I know everything about you, Mr. Pendleton but, then, information is my business!"

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

CCTV in church.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

IT security.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...