Data Navigator Gifts

You're not paranoid. You are being followed. That's how personal devices work these days.

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Weird things I do because of the internet

Computer Expert

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"You've got computer-breath."

"I am not asking for directions."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Network Extending from Buttonhole

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Titanic: How's my steering.

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'