Digital Navigators Gifts

'Neither MapQuest or Google Earth could give me directions to happiness.'

'I'm counting on you to explain to your parents how to view the e-updates on the healthcare plan.'

He had to update his OS, download an app, get a username, choose a password, log in to a health portal, navigate to messages and write his doctor … by then it was too late.

'Hi! We're Jehovah's witnesses and we'd like to talk to you about God.'

Gobble.

Unsurprisingly, it was auto-correct that introduced evil into the world.

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

The Life of Pi

Weird things I do because of the internet

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"This translation app isn't working."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

Books 'n' Carrots

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'Data, data everywhere!'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

Number Phobia.

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"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

"Oh shut up."

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."