Data Management Gifts

Information vs. confusion

Information

'I'd prefer it if they stored their stuff someplace else!'

Medical Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Medical Data base of useless information, 500,000,000 MB.

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Data Base of Useless Information, 500,000,000 GB.

A man jumps on a pile of papers in the Data Comprestion Unit.

Heavy Data Load.

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

'I have here a list of websites you failed to delete from your hard drive...'

"Oh dear, it seems your file has been routinely destroyed."

'The first thing I do every morning is arrange all my thoughts in alphabetical order.'

'This used to take hours.'

Store with sign: 'Auntie May's Pie Charts. Let Us Cook One Up For You.'

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

'Remember Mr Pooter is not just a 'patient', he's an important source of valuable and readily marketable data!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'It looks like our data.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Yes, I did say you needed to back up all your date. But there's an easier way than handwriting thousands of pages."

The Bureaucrats

Information about information about information about information.

Cloud Computing

"Hi. I'm the babysitter, formerly with Action Data Systems."

The Miracle Worker

"When you spend a your time making backups of backups of backups.."

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"I wish I could see a bunny instead of 200 petabytes of customer data."

Table Wear

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"

He's not sleeping. He normally dims his display when he's downloading data.

Information Tightrope.

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'