Data-driven Decorator Gifts

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Fittd shēt

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'How do I tell the president we're looking at an ampersand-shaped recovery? He still doesn't get the supply curve.'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

If you had paid the extra money you'd have a cool gadget here.

'Oh good, valet parking.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

"...Won't be a minute darling, I'm just downloading Christmas."

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin

"Do me a favor. . . stick to changing the wallpaper that's on your computer."

'I thought we'd go for a digital tree this year.'

Now Selling - All-these-houses-look-alike-but-it's-what-you-do-with-them Acres.

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Things to do Today: Create the heaven and the earth."

"The bed sheet rope made me think plant hanger and then window treatment. It all just started coming together."

"We really need a bigger stage for the ridin' off into the sunset scene."

'Sir, do you believe in omens and portents?'

'OK, OK, quit rushing me.'

'I think we're lost! I'm out of paint!'

And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House

"Gracie, I know it means a lot to you...but the Christmas tree has got to go."