Data Czar Gifts

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Bar chart

"Hey, Venn - back off! I'm a pie chart."

What they're thinking.

Pie company: 'Each slice of the pie represents slices of pie.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I started purging stuff in the junk drawer and got carried away."

The Canadian government trashes both the long-format census and long-format gun registry.

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

Bar chart of unprecedented events

"What are your policies regarding the collection and use of children's data?"

Sacred Cow Meets Cash Cow.

"You haven't seen my name on the CNN crawl line, have you?"

Climate Change Umbrellas

'Seventy three percent of statistics are made up on the spot.'

"It is against computer viruses!"

Our forecasts may have been a little wishful thinking †heavy on the wishful.

'My son is fit and healthy so make sure he does his PE lesson today. . . Always proof read a 3rd party supplier contract. Love Mum.'

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

'Who's been at my pie charts?'

Back To School: Turn of cell phones, tablets. . .