Data Collector T-Shirts

First and last day as census taker...

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Before the Internet

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

The Month of July

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"Please feel free to browse."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

An angry Driver stuck behind the 8 Ball.

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Florida Golf.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'