Darkness Escapist Gifts

Huddling Lampposts

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

A woman reads a romance novel.

"Not again!"

Kissing Hands

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

'There she is, dreaming about Zorro again.'

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

Man entering shed with beer: ?OK Son ? tell your Mum I?ve gone on a mission to Mars and I could be some time! ?

Sleeping Tiger

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"I've half a mind to protest."

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, safe sex and wine.'

"Too bad we only see each other when we're hungry! I know! Let's go on a date, a real date!"