Darkness De-fearer Gifts

"Good afternoon, Mr. Jenson. I look forward to helping you overcome your fear of the dark..."

Skiing.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

'Today our special guest is Pamela, who will be telling us what it's like to have an extreme fear of being in the dark. To protect her identity we've placed her in a darkened studio.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"

Speleologist

Life and Death.

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

Earth Hour is like a short dayight saving only it's in the dark.

'What do you mean it's deep? It's not even up to my ankles.'

Why Creatures Of The Night Don't Wear Corduroy

'We went to this marvellous place in Scotland, where, at night, there's absolutely no light pollution. Honestly, you've never seen such darkness - we got mugged.'

'Need a hand?'

Daylight Tombstone

Huddling Lampposts

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

Knight Light

A man is crushed by his sculpture of a hand.

"There must be a mistake, I'm a tee-total vegan!"

'If you go on a diet and lose five pounds, only to gain ten the following month, how many infuriating godforsaken pounds do you weigh?'

'I don't mind the night shift except for one thing, I am afraid of the dark!'

A Seriously Bad Hair Day.

"Does this mean I can forget my wishes?"