Dark Satire Lovers Gifts

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Dead Funny

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Puss in cement boots"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"Needs to get a life"

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Housekeeping?!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Pastries and Candy

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

End the Winter Blues

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"