Dark Satire Aficionado Gifts

Beware of dog sign (dead body with bite taken out of it)

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"The Eggsorcist"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Needs to get a life"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

Turkey Autopsy