Dark Humor Enthusiast With A Passion For Fitness Gifts

Gym in Hell

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Needs to get a life"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

Turkey Autopsy

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'I hate Mondays.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

HELLth Food Sprouts

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.