Dark Comedy Followers Pillows

"I realize I used to suck, but hey, it's never too late to give back."

Weapon Grab.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Dead Funny

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Pastries and Candy

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

100 best beheadings

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Fancy a pint?

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....