Dark Comedy Enthusiasts Pillows

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

"My motto was 'Go with the Flow," but I had no idea it ended up here."

“Some day, Paulie, we’re going to look back at this moment and say, ‘Remember that time we whacked Eddie?’”

'I'm sorry, Mr. Corleone, but all of our hit girls are out on assignment.'

Reindeer with mounted Santa and elf hunting trophies

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

101 uses of a dead cat: vehicle bumpers.

"You failed in marketing, you failed as a caretaker but you're not a total loss... At least I could sell your kidneys."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Dead Funny

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

End the Winter Blues

Pastries and Candy

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"Puss in cement boots"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

100 best beheadings

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'