Dark Comedy Aficionados Pillows

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

'I should've realized I was in trouble with a name like 'King Edward the Temp'.'

"By the way, this guy behind me with his fist up my crack has nuthin' to do with this."

'Another rejection! I'm wasting my time trying to sell life insurance to the immortal.'

'Oh, Randy! - It's just what I wanted!'

WARNING: Shoplifters will be decapitated and boiled in oil.

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

Crash survivor with sunglasses.

'The worst has happened. You've been acquitted, and all our book and movie deals depend on your conviction!'

"Stock of our medical supplies have flatlined, much like the patients who used them."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Puss in cement boots"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Pastries and Candy

End the Winter Blues

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."