Dark Comedians Pillows

Santa Claus doesn't exist because he got eaten up by zombie elves.

"I'm an optimist."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Dead Funny

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Pastries and Candy

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

100 best beheadings

Tim Burton

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Death coach..."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

Fancy a pint?

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)