Daring Athlete Gifts

"Are you sure you're ready to get back on the ice?"

A Hole in the Dike

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'I'm afraid the motion has been carried and you lost.'

Casual skydiving.

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

'Y'know, Henderson, that's exactly the sort of thing that makes people of you as a loose cannon.'

Javelin

"If Carlo can't maintain a better on-line profile, he'll just have to go..."

'Don't be a fool, John! They'll kill you. Give them what they want - you can always buy another hat.'

Check out our nose ring special for the bull market investor.

Finally, after years of living in fear, the crows confronted it. They refused to be scared any longer.

'C'mon - help me bring him down and I'll split him with you!'

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

'Are you sure this is legal?'

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

Sports for slipper wearers.

I hope you're letting Teddy get outside this summer. Yes, mother. He needs time to run free and be a kid. I know. Bye, mom. Where, exactly, will I be running free? Allstar, Youthbuild Paramilitary Sports Camp. 8 a.m. sharp!

'...But Dewey here just won't let it go. So he tells Vern, 'Ok, I triple-dog-dare you to stick a putter in your ear'...'

"Pretty nasty slice."

You have to admin, it's a bold way to test his approval ratings.

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'Hester had done the triple dozens of times in his mind. Now, however...'

I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.

With his illustrious career in the circus over, Alfonzo the Great settled into a job with the New England Power Company.

'A damned fine financial adviser you turned out to be !'

'As a rule, you never notice WHAT I wear!'