Daredevil Devotees T-Shirts

France, 1792: The Human Cannonball -- Le canon de l'Homme -- is First Deployed in Battle

"We can have someone there in a few minutes to help you with your computer. Can you have a mattress outside to soften his landing?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Washing Line Walker

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

Dairy Devil

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Of course we can do it! We're BIRDS!'

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

'Face it, William - you're shit at it!'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

Fly Tightrope walker

Morbid evidence showing a high dive went terribly wrong!

"And now I will attempt the same feat but without insurance."

"First whack at sword swallowing?"

Cannon crossing sign for tightrope walker.

Hire Wire Act

'Mr. Franklin. what did I tell you about wheelies in he hallway?'

"The Johnsons finally get around to child-proofing their home."

"Be right with you. I need to take this real quick."

"I'm sorry guys – I guess at our age Truth or Dare is a little too fraught."

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

Concerned about getting his expectant wife to the hospital on time, Gary hired a stunt driver for the 'big day'.

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"It says here that you've been fired 126 times! Oh, hang on. I see you were a 'human cannonball' in the circus."

At the retirement home for daredevils.

"Your Honor this is Exhibit A in the Wallenda Paternity suit."

Ok, who told him to stick his tongue on the iceberg?