Dank Meme Connoisseur Pillows

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'Bert's dog training.'

'He likes to power nap.'

Vlad the Impala

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

Emergency Phone.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

The Snarky District

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"