Dank Meme Connoisseur Pillows

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

'Bert's dog training.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'He likes to power nap.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Vlad the Impala

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'