Joking Connoisseur Pillows

'There's nothing wrong with your oven, is there?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why do they do that?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

What's normal?

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

The Snarky District

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."