Joking Connoisseur Pillows

'There's nothing wrong with your oven, is there?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why do they do that?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'He likes to power nap.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

What's normal?

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

Bangers and Mash

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."