Joke Connoisseur Pillows

"I'm trapped in an elevator - wait, it gets worse."

"I asked for a Hexagon and you built me a pentagon - of course you cut corners!"

"Gracie, I have a good riddle for you!"

A man on the corner sells 'Lead Balloons' with a sign 'Lead Balloons great for parties!'

Freshly shaved ham.

"When did this game get started?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why do they do that?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He likes to power nap.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

What's normal?

Night of the Latkes

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

The Snarky District