Dairy Dynast Gifts

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Freshest ice cream in town!

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Oh Hi!'

Important Food Groups

Cow's straw

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"They’re real."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'I'm sorry, your cheese has not matured enough!'

Pull the udder one

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'