Daily Life Observations Pillows

This one rolls a smidgen better....

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Please don't go!"

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

Chair massages.

How to injury yourself as an adult

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

'Think how funny this would all be on a TV sitcom.'

'I'm bored.'

"Pawn to King Four."

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

'I like waking up every morning to see what opportunities and challenges the new day holds for me.'

Hand drying method for kids.

'I had a job once, sir, but I succumbed to sleep deprivation.'

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

Woman Dancing.

Man leaving house with 'The world ends at noon today sign' "What do you want for dinner, dear?"

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

The much more typical...Renaissance Man.

"You see? Once more, Wile E. Coyote is restored swiftly and miraculously to health. His potential trauma has been trivialized, and we are yet again amused."

It's not deja vu if you get it every day, Bob.

Recession: 'To hell with it, I'll wait till it comes out on DVD.'

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

'Well! Well! Talk of the Devil.....'