Daily Life Observations Pillows

This one rolls a smidgen better....

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Please don't go!"

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

How to injury yourself as an adult

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

'Think how funny this would all be on a TV sitcom.'

'I'm bored.'

"Pawn to King Four."

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

Hand drying method for kids.

'I like waking up every morning to see what opportunities and challenges the new day holds for me.'

'I had a job once, sir, but I succumbed to sleep deprivation.'

The much more typical...Renaissance Man.

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

Woman Dancing.

Man leaving house with 'The world ends at noon today sign' "What do you want for dinner, dear?"

Recession: 'To hell with it, I'll wait till it comes out on DVD.'

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

"You see? Once more, Wile E. Coyote is restored swiftly and miraculously to health. His potential trauma has been trivialized, and we are yet again amused."

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

'Well! Well! Talk of the Devil.....'

"Relax? RELAX? have you paid ANY attention to the world lately?"