Daily Life Expert Gifts

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

Broken since March

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

Renaissance Zone

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

Chair massages.

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

Rashomon of West 84th Street

'Think how funny this would all be on a TV sitcom.'

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

'I'm bored.'

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"Pawn to King Four."

"I hope this isn't meant to be a criticism of our current life style."

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"I, too, get the twisties."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

"No, he hasn't lost weight. It's the size he expects to be in next year."

'I like waking up every morning to see what opportunities and challenges the new day holds for me.'

Hand drying method for kids.

Woman Dancing.

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

Man leaving house with 'The world ends at noon today sign' "What do you want for dinner, dear?"

Modern Slavery

It's not deja vu if you get it every day, Bob.