Daily Distraction Defier Gifts

Guru.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Screen Time vs Book Time

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

To do before Saturday...

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

"Don't forget to empty the dish washer."

'I'm busy flinging birds at pigs, go away.'

"I am doing my homework, but it's hard not to get distracted in this click-bait media environment."

"Classical guitar hero"

Facebook - You have 17 requests to get on with your work.

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

A man is crushed by his sculpture of a hand.

'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'

'Can't you take out the trash, Mom? ? I'm busy deleting junk e-mail.'

"Hang on...I think you're losing me."

This P.C. has been porn free for 23 days

"My husband fell into the bear enclosure! I threw my phone down there. I think it bought him some time."

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

"Can I call you back? I'm shopping."

"I bet the decline in the U.S. birth rate is thanks to Wordle."

Health and Safety man on mobile about to fall down manhole.