Cynical Comic Reader Gifts

Election Promises: 'I promise better health care, better education and lower taxes!'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

The Amazing Man-Spider

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

Time Machine Collision

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

The Salmon Run

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

wattle covers

"How many darn burritos did you eat?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Mou...Man trap!

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever