Cycling Hopeful Gifts

God, I hate riding the bus. Sometimes I wish that a limo would pick me up instead. Then I lower my standards and wish for an Uber car. Then it's a cab. I now realize I'd settle for a bicycle. Bus.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Touring Cyclist

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

You had me at vintage.

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

French Early Bird

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

BMX riding in Bavaria

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

"On your left."

"Well, because today is Friday the 13th."

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'I knew I shouldn't have had those beans this morning!'

A writer walks over water towards a publisher

Captain Pointy No.62 - Famous last words

So You Want to be a Political Rock 'n' Roll Star

"Changing your Facebook profile does not count as exercise!"

Job interview.

'May I help you?'

"Some day I'll be president of the United States."

Man cycling off a cliff

"Hi Dad, I thought I'd share this advert with you, '125cc Motcross scrambler, red with silver trim'."

Mr Thompson let go of the bike, and Bobby cycled freely into the new world, never to be seen again.

'I just wrote a novel on this phone and sent it to 137 publishers and got back 129 rejections in 12 seconds.'

"We will try you on a real horse in a few weeks, Mr Thimble."

"On your left."

'I just hope this doesn't jeopardize my political career.'

Bike ramp engineered by: Gracie Bermudez

'Cow Stabilizers'.