Cycling Critiquer Gifts

Armstrong loses his awards.

"You know, there are other emojis."

Horse statue throws off rider.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'If at first you don't succeed, appoint a committee and let them worry about it.'

"Oh shut up."

"But is it art?"

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"How do you connect it to the wi-fi?"

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

Bill often considered cutting his armpit hair, but then he'd need to buy carpeting.

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

Retirement became the obvious decision.

Grade 'A' Grass.

Bird in Flight.

Fat Biker: 'Maybe I shouldn't trust this bridge that much.'

It appears his GPS isn't working properly.

Speed Bump

"It's a very short cycle lane but I'm determined to use it."

'With his work it's always best to stand well back - so you can't see it.'

Veal Crates

"And now the Oscar for the film that everyone claims they want to see when they ACTUALLY saw 'Fifty Shades Freed'."

"The doctor said jogging would 'add ten years to your life...' He was right - I feel ten years older...!!"

"I like the part where she says, 'woof'."

Rail fare increases.

"Yeah. I'm good to talk. I'm hands-free."

'Instead of trying to fix the problem, sometimes it's best just to step back and blame the system.'

Hunter putting down a flying horse.

'Son, stay away from drug addicts - don't watch the Tour de France!'

'Are you back or front seat driving?'

Here you can see all the Tour de France cyclists unsuspected of taking steroids.

"For this I rose from the dead?"