Comedy Critiquer Gifts

Grade 'A' Grass.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Rodin's Irish Judge

Unnatural Selection.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'The footprints in the cheesecake were inconclusive, but my DNA was all over the peanut butter pie.'